For last few days, I was wondering, thinking & meditating on one question : “What is the root cause of all problems that we suffer from?”.
I was encountered with the final answer as a part of self-realization that it is nothing but some kind of “FEAR”.
Fear of death, fear of failure, fear of lack of things, fear of relationships, fear of intimacy, fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of disease and thus fear of millions of things & emotions.
Now after realizing that the root cause to each and every problem is some kind of a fear, I am wondering and thinking now that what can be the solution to overcome it in a REAL way? I mean, enough of stressful self-help advises on this subject. They really don’t bring any real CHANGE. All what they can do is that they can provide us with some temporary motivation. But then again, the original situation arises.
So now, instead of focusing on such temporary solutions, I am asking myself to focus on some permanent solution. I am not sure, how long will I be able to focus on it or even to achieve the answer, but for sure there is some pinching curiosity going on, which tells me that “Damn it, enough is enough.”
I have heard and also believe that the self-introspection (some would call it spiritual journey) is a process where one should not look for the end-result or destination, rather enjoy the journey which teaches you something new, where you unlearn your old learnings as well where you relearn few things in a fresh manner, so I’m simply, without any mission or a destination, enjoying my self-talk. If I come across some concrete realization, I will surely share it with you.
In the meantime, if you have any thoughts, experience or some realization on this subject, you are welcome to share it with us.
Devang Vibhakar is the Founder and Editor of www.SpeakBindas.com. He has interviewed more than 350 people. His effort was recognized by Limca Book of Records, twice. He has been to Scotland as well as Germany as part of vocational & cultural exchange programs and has compiled five books so far. He's passionate about bringing forth interesting stories & interviews of entrepreneurs to avid readers of SpeakBindas. He can be reached 
Dear Devang,
Very nice article on this hot subject. I like it. I like the way you express that feelings of “FEAR”. It made me think and motivate me to share. For me I have experienced that The root of Problem itself is an answer for that and what we are suffering is only cause of our judgement. I’ve learnt that “forgive and forget the past is key to happiness”.
Now back to solution how to come out from this suffering and free oneself from this suffocation. The one way to do it is remove focus from suffering and solve problem not wasting energy to find cause for that. If we just assumed that there is no problem then all of sudden every anxieties will disappeared (The Law of Attraction). Sometimes we can not make decisions and can’t handle difficult problems. It is just because we are too much focused on the causes of the problem not on a solution.
Hope this thought may help others. There is no such problem exists if we just imagine it as a challenge and Face it.
Peace.
Ravi Lodhiya
Hi Devang and Ravi… I think both of you hit the nail right on the head.
However, I also believe that root-cause of any problem goes back to ‘expectations’.
Whatever activity we do, we have some kind of ‘expected’ result in mind. And when we fail to satisfy those expectations, we become unhappy.
For example: When you participate in a competition–somewhere in your head you know that you yourself and your family is expecting you to win this. Thus, when that does not happen…you become unhappy.
When you hear that a particular movie is suppose to be very funny–you decide to watch it with ‘expectation’ that you will laugh.
What happens when you see a plate with ‘red and hot ‘bhaaji’? You are probably ‘expecting’ it to be spicy–but it turns out totally tasteless.
When you are going to vote to the candidate of YOUR choice–you are ‘expecting’ a change in the way things are working. What happens when it turns out totally opposite?
You see a product in an advertisement and decide to buy it. You have ‘expectations’ as to how it should work. What happens when it fails?
When you are in extreme pain and decide to go to a doctor. You are ‘expecting’ that doctor will tell you what is wrong and will also give medication to end your pain.
Basically, I want to point out a similar point that Devang pointed out. Let us not worry about the end result and enjoy the journey itself.
Just to clear out my point…I believe that FEAR comes as a result of ‘Expectations’.
We ‘FEAR’ of not meeting our expectations. Thus, i believe that fear itself may not be the root-cause but a symptom of a root-cause which is ‘expectation’.
Nice piece and as a psychotherapist, I’d say your assessment of “fear” being a basic element of suffering is spot on. Fear of not being good enough, fear of being found out, fear of dying, fear of your partner leaving you, fear…fear…fear. One of the most effective ways to deal with “fear” is getting a good sense of your core belief systems (usually established in your family of origin), particularly the unhelpful belief systems that block you individually and/or in your relationships. Understand what they are – and where they came from. There’s a lot of research backing mindfulness meditation as an excellent tool to build resilience and emotional regulation abilities.
For those interested in working on their fear (wherever it shows up), therapy can be very helpful. My recommendation with be finding a therapist with a past orientation (family of origin work), experience in attachment and neuroscience. This is the cutting edge of what’s going on in our field now. No matter how wired your brain may be for “fear,” – it can rewire itself. Pretty exciting stuff!
dear sir : all what is said is very very difficult to implement,what you are saying seems to be purely utopian than realism.